Ladies and gentlemen...who surely do not give two fucks....I shameful present as promised...one obscure day in the past....The blog about Rob Liefeld. Yeah you thought omfg its a sequel to his best selling book....was it a bestseller? Is it even out? Who knows...just buy that shit! Buy five of them...get Rob to sign em and doodle on the cover...maybe he will put the pen in his ass to make it more interesting....Ok ok that aside, im going to give you a realistic analysis of the guy from the point of view of a past fan. Boring? Probably. Waste of my time? Definitely. Getting paid? Its about Rob Lifeld....of course not, but the checks in the mail....ok so here we go *que some star wars sounding shit up*
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You wanna can a shit stain and call it art? Go on now dig up Andy Warhol and fuck the corpse, oral or anal it don't matter since skeletons got no face. But seriously? Wait. Did this guy just say seriously? Is it Christmas or thanksgiving or his birthday....no no and everyday bitches. I thought I would communicate in a more appropriate way...hence the slang styling that's I'm trying to pick up from the youth here today...like all these hellbillys I see at work everyday. I think they inspired me and some of the things I think/say...such as...
Is it me or is it a country state of mind up in this motherfucker. Yeah like that yankin twangin steel guitar and big tittied hookers in cowboy hats with muff to get stuffed....wait thats a hillbilly stripclub....well if they could be full nude. Which down here, they most certainly cannot. Now before you get all started saying the premier provayer of everything saintanic in your life goes to the shake joint....I don't.
Oh where to begin...is this a clean romance fiasco? Or some kind of broken down and vulgar fuck flick straight out of the John Holmes and Seka age of film? I opt for door number three Bob, the one where you die at the end. No no but seriously I don't know where that came from....maybe its from the soy milk and racism I dine on before work every day. Or maybe its all the white rap I blast in my Cadillac and Black women I date, you tell me. And no this isn't opposite day...that's some real kindergarten shit, this is as it was because it is.
So I'm just gonna come out in this one naked like Joseph Starlin and on fire like a cross at a protestant church. No not really but the imagery probably got you didn't it? Or maybe not if you have been with out for more than two days, its probably passe now like anus worms and deformed brain stems. So this one is probably off kilter even for me....but like Charlie Sheen sleeping with Helen Keller Im still Winning, simply because here in this corner of the world....Im just not gonna admit to loss.
So I was wondering...what body type entails the freakiest people....women being of primary interest of course, if you want men google it yourself your fingers aren't broke if you navigated your sausage eatin Simon and Simon watchin ass here. But its doesn't say, well not in the first result so I'm outie like Vanilla Ice on a balcony, hey get the shit right the first time or fuck it go home.
So I'm sitting here listening to the Scorpions, yeah some more eighties shit fuck the haters, sipping some Evan Williams Cherry Reserve. Also this may be the last blog for my beloved Logitech Ultra Thin Illuminated Keyboard, this thing like The bourbon is better than ninety percent of the sex I have ever had....
how about I start this week with a surprise....I'm Asian! No I lied but you feel for that shit like your name was trapper john md and you joined the cast of mash on the titanic. Or the cast of friends after a night at Rick Jame's house like that time Scoobie Doo fucked Benji and gave him vd. This is like a cold shower in the middle of winter with Paula Dean whacking your cock off with some strawberry quick...the powder kind.
Where to begin....how about with Diablo 3. Yes this is a blog that's been running in Que for quite a while...live with it, maybe it will bring back some seething feeling that you had forgotten and finally convince you shotgun suicide IS the answer. That or you will read it and say oh I knew that shit, either way.
Reimagine the way your livin, put yourself in the toilet and the turd in the drivers seat. Think about that loan you cant get or that girl that got away. Think about all the people that think happiness is ignorance because the dont have to worry about shit in a life that just a stones throw from falling down like the tower of Pisa on tickle me Elmo but the punch line is no ones fucking laughing. Its been too long since you got a good rant, and maybe things have been too good for one, until now.
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