This is the obligatory, adulatory, hortatory, Batholomew Holiday Christmas blog I warned you about. My civic duty to be fulfilled, with one so skilled I can jack off left handed with a leg cramp(us).
I bet i get more shit on this than Donald Trump after he gets his edible enema from Robin Quivers. Now dont get me wrong Robin needs. No let me rephrase...NEEDS this dick, I mean she is getting old but I'm ok with that long as she keeps what counts upright and it dont even have to be THAT tight.
Yeah you heard me, I'm a monster by camp fire and you know I ain't no liar and shits alright cause I got it on lock like the cookie crook with a meth habit. Wait..wheres the Christmas joy? Well how about if I tell ya I didn't put your girl on a couch opposite the chair and shoot a peter north in her hair just so she can help me myth bust the jizz in air con nun drum.
Yeah, so open these gifts. Feel blessed, do a fucking # and a tap dance proud guy, top man, what ever gets your nuts soft. But always remember this is my easy bake oven and I supply the cocaine around here.....so if I dont have much to say about a Obese man with questionable motivations for breaking into homes and staying up all night while living with one old woman and five hundred midgets.....just let it lie.
KInda like your wife on a Friday night. Oh that was Thursday wasn't it. Didn't think I knew....but hey its hard being Batman and this is Bucharest and I'm feeling like when in Rome....so Ima go find your skeezey friends and play under the dome.....
Ok. So that was morose....or insensible, but fuck its hot in here and its December and I haven't had a good holiday in ten years. So give me a fucking break, Id be a motivational speaker but I sold my van and Bigfoot lives down by the river....so you do the fucking math.
Yeah you heard me, I'm a monster by camp fire and you know I ain't no liar and shits alright cause I got it on lock like the cookie crook with a meth habit. Wait..wheres the Christmas joy? Well how about if I tell ya I didn't put your girl on a couch opposite the chair and shoot a peter north in her hair just so she can help me myth bust the jizz in air con nun drum.
Yeah, so open these gifts. Feel blessed, do a fucking # and a tap dance proud guy, top man, what ever gets your nuts soft. But always remember this is my easy bake oven and I supply the cocaine around here.....so if I dont have much to say about a Obese man with questionable motivations for breaking into homes and staying up all night while living with one old woman and five hundred midgets.....just let it lie.
KInda like your wife on a Friday night. Oh that was Thursday wasn't it. Didn't think I knew....but hey its hard being Batman and this is Bucharest and I'm feeling like when in Rome....so Ima go find your skeezey friends and play under the dome.....
Ok. So that was morose....or insensible, but fuck its hot in here and its December and I haven't had a good holiday in ten years. So give me a fucking break, Id be a motivational speaker but I sold my van and Bigfoot lives down by the river....so you do the fucking math.
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