Yeah I lost a blog I wrote at work to celebrate my new promotion. Which is old now. Like stone cold stunned, beaten raped and then shot, then dug up reupped rinse repeat. I mean it was great to be sure, not like a leaky washing machine with an odd aroma of seamen coming out...and my wife is not pregnant by the mail man....as I dont have one.
Well you know I'm just feel good funny today eh? No? Well fuck you then, and the horse you rode in on since your the queen of merry ole Engles. Yeah, Its almost my Bday again. I suppose I may not be middle aged...but I dont know yet I'm not dead. See you never take that into account in life..ya just throw it out there. Oh he's middle aged. Bitch hes fifty. That motherfuckers gonna be over a hunnerd? Wow I wish I had the same bill of confidence from you, you said oh he's thirty? Shit he's damn near a walking dead extra.
Then of course I started to believe the hype at twenty five. When all the boy muscles I had grown into man muscles went away. Yeah I got a real mans body, fat and misproportioned and all. Wow thanks genealogy. Go from A+ to sloth from the Goonies in t minus one summer. Then you know you could reclaim that body...but peeling off the years and years of abuse for your body is like going home with doctor Phil while Oprah watches.
So yeah I say one day Ill do it. And one day pigs will fly...I mean with all the regulations why not? As long as they have all the papers in place...who should stop them? What pigs cant fly? What about the one in the commercials? Ah yeah gotcha on that one didn't I. Quick run over and hit the secret sequence to unlock the mysteries of lie.....G.O.O...wait. Better not say it...that's hits like Bloody Mary and beetle juices love child....scary shit
awaits on that side of the door.
This blog brought to you by middle age and mountain dew. Yellow five? Yeah ever heard of it? Shrinks your dick huh? Well get a load of mine....wait. Never mind, get a load off mine. Now there's your #yellowfive. <-----------------*bet that part jumped right out at ya huh*
Then of course I started to believe the hype at twenty five. When all the boy muscles I had grown into man muscles went away. Yeah I got a real mans body, fat and misproportioned and all. Wow thanks genealogy. Go from A+ to sloth from the Goonies in t minus one summer. Then you know you could reclaim that body...but peeling off the years and years of abuse for your body is like going home with doctor Phil while Oprah watches.
So yeah I say one day Ill do it. And one day pigs will fly...I mean with all the regulations why not? As long as they have all the papers in place...who should stop them? What pigs cant fly? What about the one in the commercials? Ah yeah gotcha on that one didn't I. Quick run over and hit the secret sequence to unlock the mysteries of lie.....G.O.O...wait. Better not say it...that's hits like Bloody Mary and beetle juices love child....scary shit
awaits on that side of the door.
This blog brought to you by middle age and mountain dew. Yellow five? Yeah ever heard of it? Shrinks your dick huh? Well get a load of mine....wait. Never mind, get a load off mine. Now there's your #yellowfive. <-----------------*bet that part jumped right out at ya huh*
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