So you know it's a special occasion when I break out the killer's album and come here and spread j dub love for the holidays I fucking hate. It's like twenty seven with your weave used as a murder weapon and your stuck in the cell with a woman you could swear played King Kong Bundy on married with children.
Yeah this is the gimme candy, flowers money drugs holiday....but what about give me roofies and choke me out then have a huge orgy while burning the house down and video taping it all with Nick Cage behind the good ole 8mm? Maybe stick a 9 mm up your ass for the finale...you know ole Saint Nick....he's crazy as hell these days since da man done went and took all his funny books away to pay his down syndrome prostitution ring fines...Yeah maybe that was over the top but hey who am I to judge someone.....Well I am qualified but you can be too...for a small fee of course. So the moral of the story is get the blue black red tie die....whatever dress out ladies...and go to the bar if your lonely. Some guy will eventually feel bad and pet your cats for you...or cat...cats preferable in said situation....see above. And if you cant see....then insert some braille obscenity here, maybe a big old dick with a candy cane condom and a Russell Stover cock ring. Or maybe you just come by my house...get your head cut off and thrown down a few flights of stairs...I mean hey you can call into work and make a three day weekend of it that way right?
And if this blog suck or hurts your little feelings....I want you to, call a friend as you'll need some help for this, go to your car...open the door, put a brick on the gas pedal, stick your big ass head under the tire....ok you may have to borrow someones truck for this one....like that redneck guy you always thought worshiped satins that lives down the street from you....then after you wedge your cranium in there, have your buddy pull the nifty lever down into the letter of the day, that being "R" and think happy thoughts about kittens and pecan pie
And if this blog suck or hurts your little feelings....I want you to, call a friend as you'll need some help for this, go to your car...open the door, put a brick on the gas pedal, stick your big ass head under the tire....ok you may have to borrow someones truck for this one....like that redneck guy you always thought worshiped satins that lives down the street from you....then after you wedge your cranium in there, have your buddy pull the nifty lever down into the letter of the day, that being "R" and think happy thoughts about kittens and pecan pie