So how about I just talk dirty here? Men this is for the ladies.....this time....but live and learn from what must be either a master of seduction or the most evil person since Captain Kangaroo.
Alright ladies. I know your all super sexy and luxurious boiling pots of nothing but hot oil and vintage wine. I know this too. I just dont say it....im all shy like that even if I pinch your nipples and suck on your pussy while I rub on your....see you it translates so much better in this porno sense at least imo. Maybe you can sit on my face....Ill even cut my beard to tickly your ass while you do it...fuck it. You know I know you need to feel something thats.....evil. You want to know Im going to run my tongue down your body like its ice cream...all flavors welcome. Yeah fuck it Im evil as fuck and when you let me get down twenty three shots and bypass the john Im all dick past midnight. And yeah I said that before, but were you listening?
Now I dont know how erotic that was I actually cut it pretty loose....cant have you saying you know all my tricks just from one paragraph. How about I put it into one sentence.....I can do anything you need me to, its simple as that....maybe you should try it with some of the other men out here....unless of course they really are what you ladies call them all the time. Gay, with small dicks, cant keep it up dont last etc. etc. I may be guilty of going off like the fatman over hiroshima but never on a first date....which is probably where I shine brighter than a torch in transilvania.....shit I should have just been a porn star and never fucked the same woman twice....Maybe i should just put a picture of my dick as my signature and see how many email replys I get when I start sending off payments to charity.....I bet the scientology one will be a standing ovation.
So yeah I kind of teased you ladies there....but hey its what men do, if we arent rapist and cheating gay pedophile murderers we are some kind of tease or never been. In closing children remember its ok to fuck and suck but don’t kiss and tell.