So we see Ima keep goin...it's gonna keep growin...like I got steroids for my dick. Damn...that would be nice..make me a rich man if I could find out that formula....the dreams of man! Oh well, for now we have this thing....called R E A L I T Y.
So I got a new phone....and as evidence of my age....I got the base model IPhone. It's pretty solid, cheaper...and all around pleasing. Now If I were ten years younger...it would be....too small, shitty screen and not pleasing..much like sex with me on a mon, tues, we....wait a minute......
Self deprecation aside, I have to say I'm impressed with a lot of the cheap technology out there now. Not impressed with the software to go with it normally but hey, shit happens. Games, mobile and not kinda....well. They blow. Not a little like a college girl with glasses and body dis morphia, no like a full on grown woman with no inhibitions that lacks a gag reflex.
Ok, I know your looking crazy now....maybe I am old. Maybe I compare the shit on a plate we get served now to the pizza slices of the past. Maybe I lament this was better and that was awesome...and then load it up and say FUCK. This shit is so dated I can't play it! Look at these graphics...omfg. Wheres my 3000lb console tv!
Maybe. But theres a lot of folks like me now....I mean, I love the way some new shit plays but then the game will come out *Anthem* and have no content. Most hate that game I know, but the shit looks nice, plays excellent! Its a blast to run around and play Iron Rambo and shit. But you get so little bang for the buck...you play three days and get mad you didnt buy this shit out of the dollar bin at game stop.
That may not be the best example...but shit come on. I'm old here. Ok Ok another one? Blood Stained....I was so hyped for that shit...it comes out...and it's like a limp dick after you get the stripper/porn star home. Oh and your out of the little blue pill. It looks nice, plays well....has some quest albeit very redundant ones...and some kind of mundane story. So whats the problem you ask?
I played the same game back in what 1997? Called Symphony of the Fucking Night, and the world was good. That shit was the only thing that guy ever did right....he's like square soft and Final Fantasy VII. He basically painted a master piece....then inverted it hit a color swap and hit it with clear coat. Nice try my guy...but your no Charlie Sheen. Or Rob Liefeld for that matter.
Hate aside here...I can't say all games are bad. Well, I could but I know theres some good shit out there...I just cant find time as the clock ticks to try it. I miss the days when shit shipped ready. Do or die, no dlc to save your shitty work no bug fix cause you half assed it like when you put the condom on backwards. Just do it and do it well. If you failed you might pull a cult classic out your ass.
Now? Do well but be ill received and its lights out. Studio closed no Christmas for little Jimmy and Billy. No kids Santas not coming this year cause uncle Ea fired Daddy's delicate genius ass that sold thirty million copies but they wanted thirty two and a half. Well fuck....I keep blaming games...but it's the money makers that do most of this shit.
No money no game...fuck it throw loot boxes at it...so what if it fuels addiction better than marijuana and cigarettes! Oh little Jimmy is on the corner selling crack to buy the newest map on Call Of Dooty big cocks? Hell who cares! The shit sold ninety three trillion copies!
Wait...Abes Odd World Bordello, which was a work of art and sold three million copies on a budget of fifty three dollars and eight cents didn't put your kids on a corner for pay to win?! Fuck that game...it's worse than a hooker with a penis and a spear gun bukake!
Ok, I'm done...i never scratched the surface of this shit...but you get the gist. I miss the days when the big companies had to care enough to do something outside let someone wipe their ass and wipe the blood on a green screen to sell a game. I blame the Millennials....
But then again...they did give us memes....so Ima give em a pass....this time....
Self deprecation aside, I have to say I'm impressed with a lot of the cheap technology out there now. Not impressed with the software to go with it normally but hey, shit happens. Games, mobile and not kinda....well. They blow. Not a little like a college girl with glasses and body dis morphia, no like a full on grown woman with no inhibitions that lacks a gag reflex.
Ok, I know your looking crazy now....maybe I am old. Maybe I compare the shit on a plate we get served now to the pizza slices of the past. Maybe I lament this was better and that was awesome...and then load it up and say FUCK. This shit is so dated I can't play it! Look at these graphics...omfg. Wheres my 3000lb console tv!
Maybe. But theres a lot of folks like me now....I mean, I love the way some new shit plays but then the game will come out *Anthem* and have no content. Most hate that game I know, but the shit looks nice, plays excellent! Its a blast to run around and play Iron Rambo and shit. But you get so little bang for the buck...you play three days and get mad you didnt buy this shit out of the dollar bin at game stop.
That may not be the best example...but shit come on. I'm old here. Ok Ok another one? Blood Stained....I was so hyped for that shit...it comes out...and it's like a limp dick after you get the stripper/porn star home. Oh and your out of the little blue pill. It looks nice, plays well....has some quest albeit very redundant ones...and some kind of mundane story. So whats the problem you ask?
I played the same game back in what 1997? Called Symphony of the Fucking Night, and the world was good. That shit was the only thing that guy ever did right....he's like square soft and Final Fantasy VII. He basically painted a master piece....then inverted it hit a color swap and hit it with clear coat. Nice try my guy...but your no Charlie Sheen. Or Rob Liefeld for that matter.
Hate aside here...I can't say all games are bad. Well, I could but I know theres some good shit out there...I just cant find time as the clock ticks to try it. I miss the days when shit shipped ready. Do or die, no dlc to save your shitty work no bug fix cause you half assed it like when you put the condom on backwards. Just do it and do it well. If you failed you might pull a cult classic out your ass.
Now? Do well but be ill received and its lights out. Studio closed no Christmas for little Jimmy and Billy. No kids Santas not coming this year cause uncle Ea fired Daddy's delicate genius ass that sold thirty million copies but they wanted thirty two and a half. Well fuck....I keep blaming games...but it's the money makers that do most of this shit.
No money no game...fuck it throw loot boxes at it...so what if it fuels addiction better than marijuana and cigarettes! Oh little Jimmy is on the corner selling crack to buy the newest map on Call Of Dooty big cocks? Hell who cares! The shit sold ninety three trillion copies!
Wait...Abes Odd World Bordello, which was a work of art and sold three million copies on a budget of fifty three dollars and eight cents didn't put your kids on a corner for pay to win?! Fuck that game...it's worse than a hooker with a penis and a spear gun bukake!
Ok, I'm done...i never scratched the surface of this shit...but you get the gist. I miss the days when the big companies had to care enough to do something outside let someone wipe their ass and wipe the blood on a green screen to sell a game. I blame the Millennials....
But then again...they did give us memes....so Ima give em a pass....this time....
RSS Feed
