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Shape Out

4/28/2017

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maybe its happening. Maybe I am losing it all, maybe I dont care.  I have lost three people recently not to death but to the system of worldly things.  By my hand, by theirs, and again by my own.  I know I should lament and fill this space with the tears to sail my children boats in the park I may never see built....
But then you remember who THE FUCK I AM.  See I can forget that.  I can see that moment of weakness, but I ain't fucking weeping over those things.  You know when you step away and you use your animosity, and when you ignore and you divorce and you force your fucking ego on someone....they dont always break.  I'm not broken. I am a fucking instrument, I can live with a set back, my life has been nothing but one....so just get back to being a bump on the road and then maybe you can see whats coming.

Its gonna be a hell of a ride.,...good thing those around poison the well of their friends so I can never drink form it...so i can t indulge the monster climbing out of that fucking well....and drown them in it.  Then you get the others lost by your hand.  Ignore a friend and go your own way...its grown life. I know. 

Then decide they should watch your progress through some kind of voyeuristic intrinsic fucking sick mandatory bdsm fanatical fantasy for you? NO.  I hope ya read this and see that.  I hope you find the same happiness I did too.

Then others taken for the time being, it prompts the jealousy of not having your way to do the same.  A loss is an opportunity to learn.  Nothing less if your not dead, and even then who knows.  I dont have a lot to say but I want you to make this what you fucking will.  This is five fucking years.  This is then end of the line for being nice to fake motherfuckers, myself included.  So sit back get a drink, and enjoy.

And if you dont?  FUCK OFF. :)
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