With a fucking gun.
And I was like oh fuck me Mr. monster…what am I to do…then I snuck and hit it in the head with a pan that was lying there….it had some grease in it…I forget I think I made like some greasy spaghetti and shit…but that just made it madder. Then I tried to jump out a window…but face facts people. Windows don’t just break, and the shit busted my head. So I fell with the monster lurking…heavy breathing mad af now…and armed with a .50 cal all after I busted its ass in the head with a dirty ass pan.
That smelled kinda like balls…or bad cheese. So yeah now you can get the picture of how I am feeling right? I mean your best intentions can get the fuck out over here. Its like a doctor told me…you gotta deal with life and try your best not to use a crutch, synthetic coping mechanism’s like drinking and drugs.
Well sorry doc I like to drink…..and I hate after school specials. So maybe I should just go drink it under the bridge and hope that they don’t trace this new troll back to me somehow… like ice tea and the crew join them bones at csi and say well fuck someone drank their monster to death and that fucker woke up under this bridge…went on a shooting spree and then raped like sixteen innocent farm animals…that sick fuck.
Then they stick the DNA under a microscope and my picture pops up of course…all 3d and shit. Then you got John Walsh beating down my door. Of course I wont open it..but fuck I don’t wanna be woke up that early in the morning…I mean come on.
Give a monster a break….I know you hug that misanthropic cookie monster and let Oscar the grouch do your grocery shopping for you…..