I guess I been forcing it too long. Forcing caring forcing success forcing everything you ever thought you wanted to be. Stress the fuck out, keep half ass trying. Don't have time? Force it, blame it...rationalize it. Its like this society, saying oh but your great at it...when you feel like you ain't even took off the training wheels.
Yeah I guess its a lot of a bitch fest over here of late.....cant help it. Therapeutic? Maybe...but maybe its gonna be that helper to look in the mirror. I see things I used to love...and now? Well now Im a man and I dont get it...I just dont enjoy em like I did. So I force it. I try to do what I'm told is the right thing..so I force it even if I know its killing the small creativity and the joy I could get from it. But in the end who do you force it for?
My dad told me...he outgrew his aspirations for certain things, no airplanes, super cars or trips to the moon. He stopped forcing it. He never gave up on life or his dreams...he just started to focus. He realized the futility of the struggle for being everything. Keep that when your a kid. When the real world comes calling...you gotta find something to keep you sane but you cant try to be all end all. I think I know that but hell....I just haven't got it through my head yet.
Out with the old in with the new? Na. Just do what you do and stop trying so hard for something thats not even important. You want to be the greatest....but its like being a kid...without hard work and talent..you just ain't gon get there. That's the force it...you keep sawing when you coulda been done with a chainsaw. You dont care but you fake face it and say oh man but I want to...and if I had time.....
Yeah if. But you dont. So find what you love to do, and if you got that talent...virtue...just use it. Try to enjoy what you got and you wont struggle to balance it all. I say this and then go back to my thirty four hobbies that lead no where....one day though.....Ima find those two or three....maybe when I die or get fired...I dont know. Maybe when I finally stop chasin ass like the American dream....
I guess I was gonna say I was guiding your hand but all I probably did was put a razor in it. Have faith though I have a master plan...and one day shits gonna work for me. If there's hope in my vocab...then you know you got hope in yours. Just dont keep beating a dead horse....fuck that thing. It stinks and the worms ain't rice so dont put your fish on em.
Now the last part was obligatory from me.
I guess I forced it.
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