It's been on your mind...and on mine...like something you laugh off and its hard to find.  Money.  Fuck it you needed to know like its a random affliction or something...having it.  People lying that when you got it you got problems...na.  When you got some you got problems cause you will live like you got more.

I know I wrote the occupation blog what…four years ago?  I went into all this shit…I just had one I put out about the mind fuckery that is media and everyday life.  I never knew I could spiral like a drunk Icarus so far from lunacy to lucidity to being a voice that no one cares to hear so much in the span of five years.

So I finally decided I would buy a proper ring for a woman.  Yeah I did.  That’s like Satan saying he was gonna donate to charity and be the deacon of church right?  Fuck you.  Maybe I went soft soap for this volume…or maybe someone melted my heart like they had a blow torch and it’s a candy apple….I don’t know.

So all of a sudden…I look at a couple pictures…and I'm taken aback. Way back.  Like twenty…..two…years back.  Now I'm mad.  I don’t get sad when I do that….just mad…like the best most beast primal feeling I need to hear some numetal and vent my testosterone addled rage upon nothing and for no fucking reason.  I need to smile just because I know I have the key to ultimate chest of evil things and I have seen the other side of the devil sucking angel dick.  Yeah I made a fucking video of it too…but I wouldn’t share cause I don’t give a fuck about money and I don’t care……never that.

Now I know I say I know too much. But you know when you decide to take that long way home...for what reason you dont know since you really have learned to hate to fucking drive....bu maybe the mundane is murder and I keep going out of my way to find my mind....and shove it back in the hole in the side of my head.....

Life is good now right?  I mean, I found love….again?  Or really finding it and all the fixins that ever man ever to succeed by virtu….or die in ruin from his overreaction of an activation of something beyond serenity and it's grip. 

Don’t you wonder.  I mean really….how what when….where. Wait. Is he getting deep or is he just treading the water again you probably wonder.  No folks Im here. Im back.  I aint gone and I aint fucking dead.  I mean I thought…I really felt I was gonna put the bullet in the head of this like It needed. Not deserved…but what should be done. 

So I guess we are all grown.  I guess I hoped the phone hung up about ten seconds earlier. I hoped you wouldn’t do what I didn’t want to think you would do.  I got tested…I didn’t get bested…and never burned….so don’t call me dark man.  Or Durant…cause I cant…wont…don’t stop…being the fucking best.

Yeah. I know Sometimes I bet ya think I'm some maniac. I'm all over the place and I come here to blast people and talk about pussies dicks and prescription pills.  Well I ain't got a hook up and my street pharmacist just got their pussy stretched…so yeah you bet I'm out here and I'm needing to get high worse than Charlie sheen at Graceland.

I think…well I know.  No. I hear..yes that’s it.  How smart I am.  Yes I do. Then I see all these fucking idiots….and they just suck it out of me.  They have me on their level, dragging knuckles like my name was chuckles the clown and I made balloon animals to shove up your butt hole.