Well I was behind because I got to finally do something I been wanting to do for twenty some years....No not a new designer drug...no threesomes...not even an alien chick like Captain Kirk. Naw, but still one for the bucket list.
Na. I finally went to see Metallica live. Yeah I know I had some flame throwing moments of blowing smoke and shoveling more shade on them than a redwood....but I digress. I have been waiting since ninety seven to see them live and finally had that opportunity.
Now this may not be exciting...and I was...well boring, outside of course getting lit and noticing some local women, when one for some reason kept bumping me with her hip. I turned ready to lay the stunner on this miscreant that had bumped me no less than three times....Makers Mark shot in hand...when I saw a very attractive young women.....
Now when I say young...she is probably mid late twenties....since well if I say your old now....well your either an elite athlete or your like...seventy. Is always funny to see me Constanza over some lines to women in other states and then stumble walk Cosby dance out the place. No more details here since well...I need to save em for a memoir in the future.
Ok anyways back to the show. The show had Jim Bruer open...one of my favorite comedians...I was like yes! I'm excited....well I mean I had a strait face the entire time but on the inside someone was most certainly not crying....Then he gets up there after an extended wait...and.....well....he...
SUCKED. Sorry Jim. You told no jokes worth a fuck...you had the light guy singing a song...that was not bad...tbh. You had some other comic come up and talk and tell some shitty story so bad it made me have to check my pants in case I sharted when I was crop dusting the opposing seats. I mean come on man.....what the holy fuck.
This still did not deter my night though. Once he sat down...took off the Flava Flav clock and Metallica came on....it was fucking great. I know many have heard me say I wish I had seen them before this and in the late eighties or early nineties....like its a different band....and I do. But and this is a positive one there...like a big ass on a Persian chick....they killt it. I was more than happy to see and be able to say that.
They played some good shit, and there wasn't any hokey ass singing and shenanigans going on from Het. Watching them I was like man damn....these guys are getting shit done, and better than a lot of young bands out there. You can see these fuckers enjoy what they do. You can tell its nothing new, nothing to them but...they still want to be up there and are happy to do it. That to me is some real shit. People say oh look at Ozzy he just stands there he may clap hes old and sucks.
Fuck that. You need to find some door knobs, unscrew em and suck the dicks people push through. This is mind you still on subject....Ozzy still seems to enjoy getting up there and being a plodding old git. He does him and his show you think damn he's doing alright he looks like this is a good time....I mean it may be the drugs...but fuck it...do what you do. If the drugs made you happy and you put on a show...well I'm just here for the ride. If you get up there and make Adam Jones faces...or look like me durin sex...well I'm going to say....Well they sounded good but that dudes a real dick. Like a flaccid dick that smells like Cheetos and Peter Pan at that.
So I didn't say shit here...I just skimmed over it...sue me...well. You probably can by now but why? I make Oscar the Grouch look like one of the Rockefeller's. Even so, go see Metallica if you haven't. They kicked ass they looked happy to do it...and had a pretty good set list which I'm just gonna lay here for you....on your way out....
Hardwired to Self Destruct
Atlus Rise -
Seek and Destroy
Through the Never
The Unforgiven
Now that We're Dead
Creeping Death
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Fade to Black
Rob and Kirk Medly
Anesthesia
Hit the Lights
Fuel
Moth Into Flame
Sad But True
One
Master of Puppets
Spit Out the Bone
Nothing Else Matters
Enter Sandman
So yeah pretty good....oh and weren't you on your way out....you cant sleep here....
Now this may not be exciting...and I was...well boring, outside of course getting lit and noticing some local women, when one for some reason kept bumping me with her hip. I turned ready to lay the stunner on this miscreant that had bumped me no less than three times....Makers Mark shot in hand...when I saw a very attractive young women.....
Now when I say young...she is probably mid late twenties....since well if I say your old now....well your either an elite athlete or your like...seventy. Is always funny to see me Constanza over some lines to women in other states and then stumble walk Cosby dance out the place. No more details here since well...I need to save em for a memoir in the future.
Ok anyways back to the show. The show had Jim Bruer open...one of my favorite comedians...I was like yes! I'm excited....well I mean I had a strait face the entire time but on the inside someone was most certainly not crying....Then he gets up there after an extended wait...and.....well....he...
SUCKED. Sorry Jim. You told no jokes worth a fuck...you had the light guy singing a song...that was not bad...tbh. You had some other comic come up and talk and tell some shitty story so bad it made me have to check my pants in case I sharted when I was crop dusting the opposing seats. I mean come on man.....what the holy fuck.
This still did not deter my night though. Once he sat down...took off the Flava Flav clock and Metallica came on....it was fucking great. I know many have heard me say I wish I had seen them before this and in the late eighties or early nineties....like its a different band....and I do. But and this is a positive one there...like a big ass on a Persian chick....they killt it. I was more than happy to see and be able to say that.
They played some good shit, and there wasn't any hokey ass singing and shenanigans going on from Het. Watching them I was like man damn....these guys are getting shit done, and better than a lot of young bands out there. You can see these fuckers enjoy what they do. You can tell its nothing new, nothing to them but...they still want to be up there and are happy to do it. That to me is some real shit. People say oh look at Ozzy he just stands there he may clap hes old and sucks.
Fuck that. You need to find some door knobs, unscrew em and suck the dicks people push through. This is mind you still on subject....Ozzy still seems to enjoy getting up there and being a plodding old git. He does him and his show you think damn he's doing alright he looks like this is a good time....I mean it may be the drugs...but fuck it...do what you do. If the drugs made you happy and you put on a show...well I'm just here for the ride. If you get up there and make Adam Jones faces...or look like me durin sex...well I'm going to say....Well they sounded good but that dudes a real dick. Like a flaccid dick that smells like Cheetos and Peter Pan at that.
So I didn't say shit here...I just skimmed over it...sue me...well. You probably can by now but why? I make Oscar the Grouch look like one of the Rockefeller's. Even so, go see Metallica if you haven't. They kicked ass they looked happy to do it...and had a pretty good set list which I'm just gonna lay here for you....on your way out....
Hardwired to Self Destruct
Atlus Rise -
Seek and Destroy
Through the Never
The Unforgiven
Now that We're Dead
Creeping Death
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Fade to Black
Rob and Kirk Medly
Anesthesia
Hit the Lights
Fuel
Moth Into Flame
Sad But True
One
Master of Puppets
Spit Out the Bone
Nothing Else Matters
Enter Sandman
So yeah pretty good....oh and weren't you on your way out....you cant sleep here....
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