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Happy Phucking Holidays

12/25/2014

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So yeah Merry fucking Christmas...Xmas...or whatever pajama party piece of eat a shit holiday you want to have.  Now I'm not here to down the season...other than the fact my job truly becomes a circus of shit stirring and fecal matter diabetic desert bordering on suicide watch daily...but I digress.....
Yeah, I know I hate the holiday at work, and I dont even like it really.  Wait...was this one supposed to be positive?  Or is this the Christmas hate crime the news is all running spit down their slit wrist to get their hands on....I dont know.  I was gonna say I actually do see where the holiday can be good...for those ignorant to it. 

Not in a bad way now..I mean the less cynical non borderline nihilistic people and children.  If you like or love it enjoy it.  Leave the enmity to the experts like me, we got this.  *Insert Merica theme song anywhere in this you like.*  

I could name the reasons this season is the biggest cluster fuck since the Salem witch trials but I wont.  I will leave everyone in the dark like a mushroom by feeding them shit and keeping the lights off, its better that way.
So enjoy your holiday, dont kill anyone or yourself with you "watch this mamma" moments. 

Dont go shoot up all over the place and sit naked under a Christmas tree like your name was six either.  The one Bob Sagget fucked or the retired guy from Motley Crue. 

with that I leave you to a happy holiday, and dont send me cards just cash.  If you send cards The cookie monster will come and eat your cat.  Well, for the ladies....both of them.....with a fork and knife.....

And for that...don't say Xmas people, it's Christmas....and that happy holidays shit....well.... It just makes you look like a used condom with turds on it.
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