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To Be The Man...

1/10/2013

1 Comment

 
Ok I know I promised this blog like....damn a year ago or maybe five I forget or don't care or just have relapses all the time.  This is another nostalgia blog and the first thing I want to talk about is....The SNES.  That shit should have a fucking statue in Washington dc.  Honest Abe should have one by his chair at his monument and Rushmore should have a controller up beside those dead guys heads. 
That system was like the best head job you will ever get because it comes before she makes you the most fire french toast ever complete with some bourbon spiked maple syrup.  That system somehow lived up to the name...it was fucking super, I mean it was like taking a pill and waking up with a John Holmes dick compared to the NES.  The NES was an awesome system it was the Nathan Bedford forrest of the console craze and if anyone hates on it they probably burn crosses in their own yards because they lost their eyes in a money shot contest with Lexington Steele.  Anyways back to the SNES, and yes I capitalize that because that system to me is synonymous with some of the greatest games ever made.  Yes, yes we do just utterly blow it away with the new systems and our computers...but back then?  Only the quarter munching arcade could beat it or maybe the Neo Geo which you would have to sell your little brother or anal virginity to get since it was like eightfuckinghundred dollars with three hundred dollar games.  Also those systems didn't have the formula down, they didn't give you the french toast after the blow job, actually with them she didn't even swallow.  They were all flash no meat, games like Final Fantasy four, five, six, Zelda, fucking Super Mario World.  This is not to mention Super Metroid, Street Fighter II or its variation, TMNT 4 or tournament fighters.  I could run ten thousand titles that you must play if somehow you never did on this system it's so fucking deep its almost like a religious experience looking back when I compare it to the depth of "mmo's" and current console games.  I played SNES games like it was the fucking bible when I got that thing, because they were just unworldly in how good they were, especially the Nintendo branded ones.  That's a big thing, always has been, Nintendo doesn't bullshit when it comes to their own titles.  They bring some serious dick to stick in your mash potatoes to the party anytime you hear they make a new Mario or Zelda game.  Something I think more developers now should look at and learn from, to be the man you have to beat the man.  But in the scheme of my life....I don't think anyone can ever take the title from the SNES.  It didn't have to be the best ever hardware wise..., it just happened to be the best in content, story depth.  Its the rick flair or sting of gaming consoles, it has the esteem and the fame but its earned every accolade.  If somehow you have never played an SNES...I would say kill yourself, but considering it came out over twenty years ago....i will let you slide and say I do lament that you missed out.  Though the playstation one was a worthy successor to it in many ways...and the Dreamcast to that and ps3 to that....I don't feel any have or will ever capture the magic Nintendo managed to, you'd think they kidnapped Tinkerbell and her race of people enslaving them inside each unit....or grinded em up and snorted em while they developed it.  I don't know and seeing as how I can so easily gush over it and not find anything really to pick apart or bitch about on it.....cant say I really care if they did have to commit crimes against humanity, elf kind, fairies or whatthefuck ever  to make it as good as it was at the end of day, So fuck Peter Pan and the lost boys.  

Bonus link...a nice little break down of some of the best of the best...A small disclaimer - I didn't write the article contained here and I am not associated with the author in any way:

http://www.dorkly.com/article/18621/the-top-25-snes-games-of-all-time
1 Comment
Mal
1/10/2013 02:38:57 pm

Not to mention Donkey Kong Country, Secret of Mana, Star Fox... there were more hits on that system that on Whitney Houston when Bobby didn't get his crack.

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    Your Saint For Suicide as seen on MySpace and Blood Into Blog.

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