you know people think I hate everything or that I'm too negative....the question is do you really know me? I mean its trivial what you would call escapist or rationalizing question but do you? Have you lived what I did or do you right this moment? I mean maybe you do have something you have gotten past that I haven't that's great...don't try to put me down for it. If you think I'm too negative maybe you have issues appreciating your own fucking positive luck or outlook.
I mean even right now I'm off work and things from work that will have to be done are nagging at me because they are important and have to have some thought put into them. See this kind of flows over a bit into the rest of life since I'm going to be wondering in the back of my mind what I am going to do about the work thing, while I have someone saying to clean this or that...and I am worry about a bill that said job that worries me does not pay enough to easily handle while...yeah. See I know you probably have the same issues but just so easily shrug it off or hide it behind your fake smile....maybe your teeth are fake? Some of mine are since I had a bad run of luck there too, not all mind you but some. See I'm real and I'm real fucking tired of people acting like they are Jesus in this world and I am some kind of leper begging them for healing. I don't need anything from anyone in the end of the fucking day especially not some motivational speaking motherfucker that probably ate more pedo soup than Roman Polanski in an after school special. When I get rich or the world decides I have atoned enough maybe I'll be like you the good ole positive guys maybe I wont have any underlying anxiety maybe Ill just win like you great champions of humanity do. Until then I'm going to be real and not sugar coat it about this shitty assed fucking world or delusion myself. If I want fucking delusions Ill do some drugs and enjoy it more instead of being one of the folks that are too good for those devices. Fuck you and your holier than vow bullshit you probably worship Satan behind closed doors so you can try to down trod me since I come clean with shit. OK with that rant out in the open I think I can sit back today and relax with some introspection behind me and these words running down the wall like explosive diarrhea.